Jim and I were outside cleaning out the cars today and it made me think how different my life would be without him.  We do everything together and life without him would be so incredibly lonely.  It then led me to think just how dependent I have become on him and that maybe at times I take him for granted.  It's not something that I would consciously do but I have gotten used to our life, and at times I have gotten comfortable.  I want to live each day like it may be our last.  I appreciate what we have and want to express it. I want Jim to know how blessed I feel that God chose to heal him and has given us more time together.  I challenge you to live each day like it is your last and tell the people that mean the most to you how much you love and appreciate them.  Do not leave your life to chance......

This blog has been a part of my daily routine for the last 4 weeks.  Hard to believe the assignment is over.  I am going to keep it up and running for awhile as I process the things that Jim and I have learned.  Many of you have commented about your experiences with cancer or those close to you and how you are carving out your "new normal".  My instructor spoke of others who have had life threatening illnesses and how they too have had to create a new normal and change their lives.  What have you struggled with along life's journey?  I recently had a bad car accident that left me feeling bare.  I am paranoid when I get on the expressway.  I wonder at times if I am experiencing some PTSD.  I have had to re-adjust my thinking when I get behind the wheel. 

Share your experiences today.....

This is my 20th post to my blog and the last one required for class.  I am planning on keeping it going for awhile because it has been good for Jim and I.  Thank you to everyone who spent time reading and posting.  It has been a huge source of encouragement to us.

As I look back over the last twenty postings I am amazed at the information that I gathered and posted.  It is truly amazing the resources that are out there for care and support.  Cancer diagnosis can be a frightening time.  Jim and I experienced a lot of emotions during his diagnosis, treatment and beginning our "new normal".  Without the care and support of family, friends and medical staff that loved on us, things could have been a lot different.  Know that you never have to walk this road alone.  There are people that will love and support you if you let your needs be known. 

Since Jim has completed chemotherapy we are well on our way to carving out our "new normal". Every day we are continually looking for ways to care and support others.  Jim has been able to reach out to those that are walking the road that he has walked.  I have been able to love on many people that are experiencing what we have endured.  I believe that God allows things to happen to us for a reason.  I thank Him every day for healing my husband.  Each day is truly a gift and I pray for opportunities to be there for others and to be a blessing.

Look for more postings in the future and thank you for walking this journey with us!

Pets provide us with more than unconditional love.  Research has shown they can also help patients to heal.  Pets were first used in mental health facilities in the 1700's.  The Red Cross used pets as therapeutic partners during World War II in military convalescent care and are still being used today as part of therapy to provide healing.  Anyone who has experienced a connection with a pet understands the value of the companionship that a pet can bring into someone's life (www.animalhealthfoundation.net).

According to the Humane Society Animal-Assisted Therapy has shown to help children and adults alike who may be receiving chemotherapy or other medical treatments cope with their current illness.  Since the beginning of time humans and animals have shared a unique bond.  Animals provide a source of well-being to those who are undergoing physical or emotional pain.  Patients that are diagnosed with cancer not only go through physical pain but also experience psycho-social issues that may include feelings of isolation and fear.  Research has shown that animal assisted therapy has helped patients cope and heal (americanhumane.org).

In a 10 week study that was conducted in 1984 using terminal cancer patients, research revealed that patients who spent 90 minutes per week with a visiting dog showed an increase in the production of endorphins, a chemical that decreases the pain response.  Pt. revealed in a survey that petting and spending time with the dogs decreased anxiety and despair (www.mesothelioma.com)

We have two cats.  My husband has said many time that when he was in pain or couldn't sleep the cats would come and sit with him for long periods of time and had a calming presence for him.  Our cat Harley seemed to know when he wasn't feeling well and would not leave his side.  The animals that we love are indeed a part of the family and provide a sense of calm and comfort when needed.

Your last treatment is over.  You have doctor's appt set up for 3 months and 6 months.....what now?

It is important to find other cancer survivors that you can relate to.  Someone that has walked a mile in your shoes.

Here are some groups that you can get in contact with to find support in your area:

American Cancer Society
Toll-free 1-800-227-2345
http://www.cancer.org/

• They are available 24 hours/day, 7 days a week

Gilda's club Worldwide
1-888-445-3248
http://www.gildaclub.org/

• This organization provides free social and emotional support to men and women with cancer along with family and friends

Planet Cancer
1-512-452-9010
http://www.planetcancer.org/

• This is on online resource of young adult cancer survivors who share experiences with others

The Wellness Community
1-800-793-9355
http://www.thewellnesscommunity.org/

• This group provides free support locally and online for cancer survivors

Tina Turner has said in the past, "What's love got to do with it?'  Cancer survivors have contemplated, "What does sexuality got to do with it?".  After treatment is over and your "new normal" begins to emerge what does one's sexuality look like. Some may say that cancer treatment had no effect on their sexuality.  There are those who have had breast cancer or oral cancer that parts of their body were removed that say treatment completely changed the way they viewed their sexuality. 

Sexuality, or sex means different things to different people.  It is highly personal and shapes who we are: male and female, our feelings of intimacy and pleasure and how our bodies work.  Women who have had breast cancer that have had to have a mastectomy sometimes feel that they have lost "everything that makes me a woman."  Men on the other hand may not be as vocal but they are concerned with the ability to resume normal sexual relations with their spouses. 

It is very crucial that you achieve comfort first with your own sexuality and then that of your partner.  Open communication is a must.  Arm yourself with knowledge.   Talk with your doctor about concerns you may have and options that you may have to make your intimacy what you want it to be.  Real life after cancer can be even more meaningful than you envisioned it to be.  It's safe to be vulnerable to your loved one to create the intimacy that you crave.

Wilmoth, M., C. Life after cancer:  What does sexuality have to do with it? Oncology Nursing
      Forum (5)33, 905-908.

Like Mandy I watched my husband suffer through cancer. I remember the day Jim was diagnosed like yesterday. I got him settled in the recliner and then I went up to our bedroom, locked myself in the closet and cried. I felt like my heart was breaking in two! Our future flashed before my eyes and I was scared. I knew I had to be strong for Jim and the kids. This was my time to cry out to the Lord. I prayed that if God chose not to heal Jim that He would take him swiftly because I did not want him to suffer. I prayed that God would carry our kids and that I would be sensitive to what they needed. I prayed for myself that I would be bold. I did not want any regrets. I wanted Jim to feel so loved and cherished always from me. God answered my prayers. I left the closest that day with such a calm, knowing that God was and would carry me. From that moment on Jim and I decided that no matter what we would see the positive in each day. We began to voice our blessing for each day on our Carrying Bridge page. When some days got real tough it was the "blessing of the day" that got us through. Our friends and family held us up through prayer and we felt covered by God's provision for us each day. It's through the hard times that your character is refined. Jim from the beginning said "God is good no matter if I am healed or not." I praise God everyday for His healing! Jim got to walk our beautiful daughter down the isle. Each day is a gift and we have learned to live each day to the fullest without regret. I don't know what I future holds but I do know who holds our tomorrow. Amy

Day before yesterday I shared the story of Zac Smith and his battle with cancer.  Sometimes life after cancer means life without your loved one.  On this Valentine's day I pray you take encouragement from Mandy's story and know that God has a plan for you. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plan I have for you declares the Lord"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Sometimes real life after cancer means life eternal with the one, true God.

A Story | Tears of Hope from NewSpring Media on Vimeo.

My husband Jim has been a faithful servant of Christ all of his life.  He made a commitment to serve God in ministry when he was 17 years old.  He was a Youth Minister for 16 years and now works for ICOM as Student Director which is a ministry to serve Missionaries and young people that want to go into mission work.  Here is his view on the connection between faith and surviving cancer:

The first thing I remember thinking when Amy & I were told the news was, "Well, that explains a lot!"  The second thought was, "Okay, God, if this is the plan you have for me, then thank you.  And let's do it."  That might seem a very odd reaction, and please don't think me disingenuous...I actually thought that.  At the beginning.  It all changed when chemo started.

Chemotherapy kicked my butt.  Never have I experienced feeling as crappy as I did then.  The only thing that kept me going was prayer.  Not mine, mind you...it was the prayers of people (literally) around the world that encouraged me to keep on fighting when inside I just wanted to give up.  Amy & I received messages from all over the U.S., Australia, Mexico, Venezuela, Chile, the Philippines, India, Africa, Honduras and more telling us that we were being lifted before God in prayer.  There is an amazing thing that happens when you know that people are asking Almighty God that He care for you and heal you.  It's a feeling that I wish every cancer patient could experience.

 The video from yesterday was shown to our youth group about a month ago.  I was totally unprepared for the emotions I experienced as I watched Zac's story.  But he said something that reminded me of how I felt at the beginning.  "God doesn't give bad gifts."  It's so easy to fall into depression, self-doubt and anger after cancer, but remembering that God allowed me to experience cancer and survive gives me renewed hope.  Additionally, because He allowed me to survive, I feel like I now have a gift and obligation to pray for and encourage my friends who experience cancer.

I hope I don't ever have a recurrence of cancer, but I know that if I do that it will be a gift from God.  And he doesn't give bad gifts...

Here is a different perspective on life after cancer that I would like to share with you.  Prepare yourself before viewing.......


The Story of Zac Smith from NewSpring Media on Vimeo.

Many people that are diagnosed with cancer have feelings of guilt.  

• Guilt that they may be a burden to others
• Guilt that they cannot do the things that they are used to doing
• Guilt that you may envy those who are healthy
• Guilt over the fact that they are a cancer survivor, while others may have not been as blessed and may have lost the fight

Your friends and family may experience guilt also 

• They are healthy, while you are sick
• Can't help as much as they would like at times
• They may experience increased stress and impatience with the situation

Whatever feelings you may have, know that it is normal.  What you do with those feelings makes all the difference in the world. Counseling and support groups are helpful for all.  One thing that has helped our family is starting a Caring Bridge page during treatment.  It allowed us to express our feelings and let friends and family in on what was going on with us.  It was very healing for all of us. 

Here is an excerpt from our page:

Jim is 30 hours post chemo and feels puny!  He is exhausted, but PTL his nausea is not too bad and he is able to eat which is blessing 1 today.  We were able to go to church and worship, which is our 2nd blessing for today.  Our 3rd blessing is that we had a group of 5 men over from our church yesterday and they laid our tile floor in the kitchen and laundry room.  It looks absolutely amazing!  This was a project that Jim and I were going to accomplish before Paige's graduation and they made it happen!  We are so grateful to these men and their families for being willing to help us out in this way!  They got there at 9:00 in the morning  and did not leave until after midnight!  We are so blessed with such faithful friends.  Jim and I are praying for God to bless these wonderful families! I have been on my knees praying for Jim as he works through this second chemo treatment.  I know that he doesn't feel good but he is trying so hard to be "normal".  It is hard for me to watch him go through this!  I wish I could carry it for him!! He is the BEST thing that has ever happened to me so I continue to encourage and love on Him with everything I have.  My favorite time of day is at night when I am lying next to him and he is sleeping soundly.  I thank God for the peace that He has granted us during this difficult time. The kids continue to be a great source of encouragement to both Jim and I.  They are continually asking what they can do.  Jim and I are so blessed with such wonderful children!  I pray everyday that they know God intimately, and that I pick up on subtle clues that they are struggling with the stress that we have.  I want to minister to them as I minister and take care of Jim as well. I am continually encouraged by your posts.  What a blessing this has been to all of us.  God is good even in the midst of the storm.  Remember to spend time with Him each day. Amy

One of the things that my husband and I deal with on a regular basis is the fear that the cancer may return.  According to the American Cancer Society this is not unusual.  In fact, about 70 % of cancer survivors worry that their cancer will return.  The fear takes hold of you and yo may have trouble sleeping or making simple decisions. 

What is the risk of recurrence?

• It is different for each person, the type of cancer, treatment given and how much time has past since the last treatment.

What can be done to prevent recurrence?

• As I have discussed in prior postings it is important to eat right, exercise and continue to see the doctor for follow-up visits.  This alone does not prevent cancer from recurring but optimal health gives you assurance that you are doing everything you can.
• While no one wants to think about cancer returning every survivor needs to be prepared.  There are some things you can do:  keep your health insurance, follow up with your doctor, keep copies of medical records and tests and learn to live with uncertainty.

How to live with uncertainty:

• Be informed.  This will give you a greater sense of control.
• Be aware that you do not have control over some areas.  It's ok to accept, don't fight it.
• Express your feelings of fear or uncertainty with a trusted friend or counselor.  Jim and I continually express our fears to each other and rely on one another.
• Acknowledge your fear, learn to let go.  Our biggest source of comfort is our church family and our relationship with the Lord.
• Live in the present.  Do what you love! 
• Find ways to relax.  Jim's outlet is reading and playing the drums (Of course hanging with me and the kids! :)
• Stay active!  We love to ride bikes as a family
• Find a support group.  Talking with others that have walked in your shoes can be a huge help.  Just knowing your not alone removes stress.  This creates an opportunity to express your feelings and develop coping skills.

American Cancer Society (2012).  Living life with uncertainty:  The fear of cancer
      recurrence.  Retrieved from http://www.cancer.org/

As I was exercising today I was reminded about how important exercise is for cancer survivors. Regular exercise has been shown to decrease the recurrence of cancer and improves overall survival.  Studies have shown that cancer patients who exercised regularly had increased feelings of emotional well-being and better survival rates than those that did not.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends that adults get at least 30 minutes of aerobic exercise five days or more a week.  Two days a week should be spent in muscle strengthening.  Be creative!   Aerobic exercise includes brisk walking, jogging, dancing, tennis or skiing.  If you lack motivation to exercise alone find a family member or friend to exercise with you.    The more you exercise, the more you find that it will become a part of your daily routine.  I love to jog but my husband loves to play his drums!  He has built quite a bit of upper body strength and has improved his overall health and well-being!

Now...for the recipe that I promised you for the top 10 cancer fighting foods:

Today's ingredient is berries!

Blueberry Smoothie

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup frozen blueberries
• 1/2 cup low-fat vanilla yogurt
• 1/2 cup 1% skim or 1% milk
• 2 tablespoons honey
• 2-3 ice cubes (optional)

Preparation
Combine all ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth or to desired consistency then serve in glasses.

Enjoy!!

Here is the first recipe that I promised to post.  I chose a salmon recipe first because it is one of ten best cancer fighting foods.  Enjoy!

Baked Salmon

 
Original Recipe Yield 2 servings

 

Ingredients

• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 6 tablespoons light olive oil
• 1 teaspoon dried basil
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1 tablespoon lemon juice
• 1 tablespoon fresh parsley, chopped
• 2 (6 ounce) fillets salmon

Directions

1. In a medium glass bowl, prepare marinade by mixing garlic, light olive oil, basil, salt, pepper, lemon juice and parsley. Place salmon fillets in a medium glass baking dish, and cover with the marinade. Marinate in the refrigerator about 1 hour, turning occasionally.
2. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
3. Place fillets in aluminum foil, cover with marinade, and seal. Place sealed salmon in the glass dish, and bake 35 to 45 minutes, until easily flaked with a fork.

 This was retreived from allrecipes.com

Yesterday I posted about foods that are rich in antioxidants and contain compounds that research has shown to fight cancer.  Lets dig a little deeper and talk about what specific foods we can eat everyday to maximize our nutrition status.

• Strive to eat a variety of foods.  I know first hand its hard not to get caught in the rut of eating the same things all the time.  Create a plate that is balanced with veggies, lean proteins, and whole grains.
• Eat fatty fish at least twice a week.  This category includes salmon, sardines and tuna.  The fats contained in these fish have the "good" heart healthy omega-3 fats.  If your not a fish person walnuts, canola oil and flaxseeds contain the same thing.
• Limit your alcohol intake.  Men should not consume any more than two drinks per day; women only one.  Red wine has proven helpful in decreasing your cancer risk and is "heart healthy".  Put down that can of beer and reach for the wine for better health!!
• Eat foods that are known to be high in vitamin D.  These include sardines, salmon, orange juice and milk.  Research has shown that vitamin D which we can also get from the sun actually prevents cancer and decreases the risk of re-occurrence.  People who live in regions of the world with limited sun exposure should consult their physician about taking a vitamin D supplement.
• Remember that food, not supplements are the best source of vitamins and minerals

Tomorrow I will begin to post a recipe a day to help you get on your way.  Happy cooking!! 

National Comprehensive Cancer network (2012).  Nutrition for cancer survivors.  Retrieved 

      from: http://www.nccn.com/component/content/article/66

It has been proven that there are certain foods that help fight cancer or the return of cancer itself.  The American Cancer society suggests that you should eat 5 servings of fruits and vegetables per day.  In addition, research has shown there are certain foods you can eat to protect you from cancer.

• Garlic has shown to fight cancers in the digestive tract, such as colon, stomach and the esophagus tract.  It is believed that a clove of garlic a day prevents cancer cells from forming or replicating.
• Berries contain natural antioxidants that halts free radicals from damaging your cells.  Compounds found in berries also keep cancer cells from growing and spreading.
• Tomatoes contain high concentrations of the antioxidant called lycopene which can lower your chance of developing certain kinds of cancer. 
• Cruciferous vegetables:  broccoli, cabbage, and cauliflower may be key in protecting you from cancer. Research has shown that compounds in this vegetable class can protect you from the free radicals that can damage your cells' DNA. They also protect you from cancer-causing chemicals, help slow the growth of tumors, and encourage cancer cells to die.
• Green tea contain catechins which has been proven to shrink tumors and reduce tumor cell growth. Those that drink green tea have shown to reduce their risk to cancer.
• According to the American Institute for Cancer Research, whole grains contain many ingredients, including fiber and antioxidants that can lower your risk of cancer.
• Tumeric, an orange-colored spice, contains an ingredient called curcumin, which might be helpful in decreasing cancer risk. According to the American Cancer Society, curcumin can stop some kinds of cancer cells in laboratory studies and slows the spread of cancer or shrink tumors in some animals. This spice can be easily be added to many recipes.
• Leafy green vegetables like spinach and lettuce contain antioxidants called beta-carotene and lutein. You can also find these antioxidants in the cooked leafy greens such as mustard greens, and kale.  According to the American Institute for Cancer Research, chemicals found in these foods may limit the growth of some kinds of cancer cells.
• The skin of red grapes is a rich source of the antioxidant resveratrol. Grape juice and red wine also contain this powerful antioxidant. According to the National Cancer Institute, resveratrol may be useful in keeping cancer from beginning or spreading. Cancer patients are told to drink a glass of red wine a day.
• Some beans, including pinto and red beans contain high levels of fiber that has been shown to reduce the risk of cancer.  They are also great sources of antioxidants that help fight cancer cell growth.

My hubby and I love to cook!  We're fortunate because we love to eat all of these proven cancer fighting foods.  Get out there and try new recipes.   I have already posted two for you to try.   Happy eating!!

Everyday Health (2012).  The anti-cancer diet:  foods to fight cancer.  Retrieved from:
      http://www.everydayhealth.com/

Getting back in the game after treatment can be rough at the beginning.  Most cancer survivors go back to work as soon as they are physically able to do so.  If they have the flexibility many continue to work while going through treatment.  Returning to work can give the survivor the feeling that they are getting "back to life", giving then a sense of purpose.

Some cancer survivors change jobs after treatment is completed.  If this is the case remember that you are developing your "new normal". Be aware that  you may not be able to preform physically what you were able to do prior to diagnosis.  Your resume should refect your skills so as to not settle for less.

You need to know your rights as an employee.  It is important to talk to your supervisor informally and ask for changes as necessary.  These changes could include flextime, working at home and any special equipment to be able to do your job successfully.

The response from friends and coworkers may vary.  Some may be a huge center for support, while others may not want to deal with the thought of cancer at all.  They could be anxious or feel threatened because cancer can happen to anyone.  During this time of transition you may find out who your true friends really are, and some casual friendships may go to the wayside.  Remember, the true friends that you do have will be there to support you along the way.

National Cancer Institute (2012).  Life after cancer treatment.
     Retreived from: http://www.cancer.gov/cancer topics/coping/life-after-
     treatment/page7

According to the National Comprehensive Cancer Network, understanding your risk of developing a secondary cancer is of utmost importance.  You may have known someone or heard stories of people that survived one type of cancer to develop yet another type.  It has long since been discovered that if a secondary cancer does appear it is not always the spread of the first cancer but another kind all together.  Developing a second type of cancer has a very low risk of happening from receiving radiation or chemotherapy but are genetic or hereditary in nature.

The chief medical officer for the American Cancer Society's home office in Atlanta,  J. Leonard Lichtenfeld, MD, states that there are groups of patients that may have a higher chance of getting a secondary cancer.  The first group includes children who have had cancer before the age of 15.  This risk is increased due to the result of a hereditary cancer "syndrome", side effects of treatment that was received early on, and the fact that they could develop common cancers later on in life.  The aging population develop cancer due to the aging process. Most men in their 80's and 90's will most likely develop some form of prostate cancer, colon, lung or skin cancer.

Arming yourself and your loved one with knowledge about family history, lifestyle factors and early screening is key.  Taking the time right now to make healthy lifestyle changes such as eating right, exercising, decreasing sun exposure by wearing sunscreen and not smoking or drinking alcohol will help reduce your risk of cancer.

National Comprehensive Cancer Network (2012).  Understanding your risk of developing
     cancers.  Retrieved from: http://www.nccn.com

 

In the world of cancer there is a real term called "chemobrain"  These are mental changes that include memory deficits and the inability to focus.  This phenomena can last 6 to 8 months following chemotherapy and can be very frustrating not only to the patient but others around you. The things that you once took for granted, like remembering to stop at the store after work to get milk, may time to regain.  Remember, your "new normal" is taking shape.

The best way to deal with the side effects of "chemobrain" is to get plenty of rest, write things down, post reminders in familiar places and asking others to repeat important information.  Remind others that just because treatment has ended that you will not be able to jump right in and do the things you were able to do prior to diagnosis.  Be realistic about your expectations.  Family and friends need to understand that you may need to leave some of the less than important things aside for a time. 

One of the ways that we have overcome "chemobrain" in our home is by syncing our calenders on our phones.   We can both look up what we have going on with each for the day with a click of a button.  This alone has saved us from missing appointments and important events that may have been forgotten otherwise.  We have sat down and prioritized what is most important for us individually, together and as a family.  We have been able to reduce our overall stress by just taking time to be with each other and enjoy the time that we have as a family.  Its no longer important what were doing but the fact that were together that matters the most. We are learning to let some things go that were once important and relying on each other with the strengths that we possess individually and together.

There are 12 million cancer survivors in the United States today and the numbers continue to grow.  Although this is phenomenal news, it does not mean that being a cancer survivor means your problem free.  Dr. Karen Syrjala, director of Biobehavioral Sciences and co-director of the Fred Hutcheson Cancer Research Center Surviorship Program has some suggestions (resolutions) for survivors who what to continue to lead healthy lives.

• Secure a primary doctor if you do not already have one.  You need someone who can manage your overall health.  This includes health heart, risk factors for diabetes, return or secondary cancers, bone health and overall well-being.
• Keep all records at your fingertips to share with your primary care doctor so that he/or she can monitor any risk factors that you may have.
• Get exercising!  It can actually reduce risk factors that predispose you to secondary cancers.  It builds muscles and reduces fatigue caused by treatment.
• Resolve to eat better by choosing foods that are proven healthier for you including lots of fruits and vegetables.  If you are unsure about foods that are best for you get in touch with a nutritionist to arm yourself with the tools needed to eat right.
• Take hold of the fear that you may be experiencing by getting counseling to move forward.  Remember cancer recurrence is based on averages and not your personal individual risk.  Arm yourself with facts from your doctor.
• Take care of your body by not smoking, limiting alcohol intake and using sunscreen to protect your skin while outside.
• Don't ignore symptoms that you may be experiencing post treatment.  If you are experiencing continued fatigue, metal fog (called chemo brain), or other symptoms that are not allowing you to enjoy life, make an appointment to address these issues with your primary physician.
• Create a good support system of fellow cancer survivors that can truly understand what you are going through.  Your family and friends are great support but those who have walked a mile in your shoes are great resources.  These resources can be found in your own community or online.

We, as a family, have benefited from some of these useful tips.  We are striving to eat healthy, exercise regularly, and are seeking out others to help us live "real life after cancer".  Won't you join us?


National Comprehensive cancer network (2012). 10 resolutions for cancer survivors.

     Retrieved from:  http:// www.nccn.com/component/content/article/67