Like Mandy I watched my husband suffer through cancer. I remember the day Jim was diagnosed like yesterday. I got him settled in the recliner and then I went up to our bedroom, locked myself in the closet and cried. I felt like my heart was breaking in two! Our future flashed before my eyes and I was scared. I knew I had to be strong for Jim and the kids. This was my time to cry out to the Lord. I prayed that if God chose not to heal Jim that He would take him swiftly because I did not want him to suffer. I prayed that God would carry our kids and that I would be sensitive to what they needed. I prayed for myself that I would be bold. I did not want any regrets. I wanted Jim to feel so loved and cherished always from me. God answered my prayers. I left the closest that day with such a calm, knowing that God was and would carry me. From that moment on Jim and I decided that no matter what we would see the positive in each day. We began to voice our blessing for each day on our Carrying Bridge page. When some days got real tough it was the "blessing of the day" that got us through. Our friends and family held us up through prayer and we felt covered by God's provision for us each day. It's through the hard times that your character is refined. Jim from the beginning said "God is good no matter if I am healed or not." I praise God everyday for His healing! Jim got to walk our beautiful daughter down the isle. Each day is a gift and we have learned to live each day to the fullest without regret. I don't know what I future holds but I do know who holds our tomorrow. Amy

Day before yesterday I shared the story of Zac Smith and his battle with cancer.  Sometimes life after cancer means life without your loved one.  On this Valentine's day I pray you take encouragement from Mandy's story and know that God has a plan for you. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plan I have for you declares the Lord"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Sometimes real life after cancer means life eternal with the one, true God.

A Story | Tears of Hope from NewSpring Media on Vimeo.

My husband Jim has been a faithful servant of Christ all of his life.  He made a commitment to serve God in ministry when he was 17 years old.  He was a Youth Minister for 16 years and now works for ICOM as Student Director which is a ministry to serve Missionaries and young people that want to go into mission work.  Here is his view on the connection between faith and surviving cancer:

The first thing I remember thinking when Amy & I were told the news was, "Well, that explains a lot!"  The second thought was, "Okay, God, if this is the plan you have for me, then thank you.  And let's do it."  That might seem a very odd reaction, and please don't think me disingenuous...I actually thought that.  At the beginning.  It all changed when chemo started.

Chemotherapy kicked my butt.  Never have I experienced feeling as crappy as I did then.  The only thing that kept me going was prayer.  Not mine, mind you...it was the prayers of people (literally) around the world that encouraged me to keep on fighting when inside I just wanted to give up.  Amy & I received messages from all over the U.S., Australia, Mexico, Venezuela, Chile, the Philippines, India, Africa, Honduras and more telling us that we were being lifted before God in prayer.  There is an amazing thing that happens when you know that people are asking Almighty God that He care for you and heal you.  It's a feeling that I wish every cancer patient could experience.

 The video from yesterday was shown to our youth group about a month ago.  I was totally unprepared for the emotions I experienced as I watched Zac's story.  But he said something that reminded me of how I felt at the beginning.  "God doesn't give bad gifts."  It's so easy to fall into depression, self-doubt and anger after cancer, but remembering that God allowed me to experience cancer and survive gives me renewed hope.  Additionally, because He allowed me to survive, I feel like I now have a gift and obligation to pray for and encourage my friends who experience cancer.

I hope I don't ever have a recurrence of cancer, but I know that if I do that it will be a gift from God.  And he doesn't give bad gifts...

Here is a different perspective on life after cancer that I would like to share with you.  Prepare yourself before viewing.......


The Story of Zac Smith from NewSpring Media on Vimeo.

Many people that are diagnosed with cancer have feelings of guilt.  

• Guilt that they may be a burden to others
• Guilt that they cannot do the things that they are used to doing
• Guilt that you may envy those who are healthy
• Guilt over the fact that they are a cancer survivor, while others may have not been as blessed and may have lost the fight

Your friends and family may experience guilt also 

• They are healthy, while you are sick
• Can't help as much as they would like at times
• They may experience increased stress and impatience with the situation

Whatever feelings you may have, know that it is normal.  What you do with those feelings makes all the difference in the world. Counseling and support groups are helpful for all.  One thing that has helped our family is starting a Caring Bridge page during treatment.  It allowed us to express our feelings and let friends and family in on what was going on with us.  It was very healing for all of us. 

Here is an excerpt from our page:

Jim is 30 hours post chemo and feels puny!  He is exhausted, but PTL his nausea is not too bad and he is able to eat which is blessing 1 today.  We were able to go to church and worship, which is our 2nd blessing for today.  Our 3rd blessing is that we had a group of 5 men over from our church yesterday and they laid our tile floor in the kitchen and laundry room.  It looks absolutely amazing!  This was a project that Jim and I were going to accomplish before Paige's graduation and they made it happen!  We are so grateful to these men and their families for being willing to help us out in this way!  They got there at 9:00 in the morning  and did not leave until after midnight!  We are so blessed with such faithful friends.  Jim and I are praying for God to bless these wonderful families! I have been on my knees praying for Jim as he works through this second chemo treatment.  I know that he doesn't feel good but he is trying so hard to be "normal".  It is hard for me to watch him go through this!  I wish I could carry it for him!! He is the BEST thing that has ever happened to me so I continue to encourage and love on Him with everything I have.  My favorite time of day is at night when I am lying next to him and he is sleeping soundly.  I thank God for the peace that He has granted us during this difficult time. The kids continue to be a great source of encouragement to both Jim and I.  They are continually asking what they can do.  Jim and I are so blessed with such wonderful children!  I pray everyday that they know God intimately, and that I pick up on subtle clues that they are struggling with the stress that we have.  I want to minister to them as I minister and take care of Jim as well. I am continually encouraged by your posts.  What a blessing this has been to all of us.  God is good even in the midst of the storm.  Remember to spend time with Him each day. Amy

One of the things that my husband and I deal with on a regular basis is the fear that the cancer may return.  According to the American Cancer Society this is not unusual.  In fact, about 70 % of cancer survivors worry that their cancer will return.  The fear takes hold of you and yo may have trouble sleeping or making simple decisions. 

What is the risk of recurrence?

• It is different for each person, the type of cancer, treatment given and how much time has past since the last treatment.

What can be done to prevent recurrence?

• As I have discussed in prior postings it is important to eat right, exercise and continue to see the doctor for follow-up visits.  This alone does not prevent cancer from recurring but optimal health gives you assurance that you are doing everything you can.
• While no one wants to think about cancer returning every survivor needs to be prepared.  There are some things you can do:  keep your health insurance, follow up with your doctor, keep copies of medical records and tests and learn to live with uncertainty.

How to live with uncertainty:

• Be informed.  This will give you a greater sense of control.
• Be aware that you do not have control over some areas.  It's ok to accept, don't fight it.
• Express your feelings of fear or uncertainty with a trusted friend or counselor.  Jim and I continually express our fears to each other and rely on one another.
• Acknowledge your fear, learn to let go.  Our biggest source of comfort is our church family and our relationship with the Lord.
• Live in the present.  Do what you love! 
• Find ways to relax.  Jim's outlet is reading and playing the drums (Of course hanging with me and the kids! :)
• Stay active!  We love to ride bikes as a family
• Find a support group.  Talking with others that have walked in your shoes can be a huge help.  Just knowing your not alone removes stress.  This creates an opportunity to express your feelings and develop coping skills.

American Cancer Society (2012).  Living life with uncertainty:  The fear of cancer
      recurrence.  Retrieved from http://www.cancer.org/

As I was exercising today I was reminded about how important exercise is for cancer survivors. Regular exercise has been shown to decrease the recurrence of cancer and improves overall survival.  Studies have shown that cancer patients who exercised regularly had increased feelings of emotional well-being and better survival rates than those that did not.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends that adults get at least 30 minutes of aerobic exercise five days or more a week.  Two days a week should be spent in muscle strengthening.  Be creative!   Aerobic exercise includes brisk walking, jogging, dancing, tennis or skiing.  If you lack motivation to exercise alone find a family member or friend to exercise with you.    The more you exercise, the more you find that it will become a part of your daily routine.  I love to jog but my husband loves to play his drums!  He has built quite a bit of upper body strength and has improved his overall health and well-being!

Now...for the recipe that I promised you for the top 10 cancer fighting foods:

Today's ingredient is berries!

Blueberry Smoothie

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup frozen blueberries
• 1/2 cup low-fat vanilla yogurt
• 1/2 cup 1% skim or 1% milk
• 2 tablespoons honey
• 2-3 ice cubes (optional)

Preparation
Combine all ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth or to desired consistency then serve in glasses.

Enjoy!!